I went to the desert up in the north of Chile with a crew of eight Spaniards (who speak no English) for a week. We hired two cars instead of taking a bus because it's more flexible, you can drive faster and you can see stuff without a tour guide/bus. I sat in the back of the car that had five people, and that's two full days driving up and back. Sounds horrible but it was better than I expected. My services were not required for driving for two reasons; I don't have an international drivers license and they drive on the opposite side of the road here which I find dangerous enough just crossing the street footwise. So there was a lot of me not understanding, misunderstanding and not being understood for a whole fucking week man! Almost as if eight Spanish people decide to take a pet dog with them; Nick let's go, Nick time to eat, Nick don't touch, Nick don't sniff that guy's butt etc. Character building stuff indeed. And please people, shoot a little praise my way for this entry, it has more images than you can poke a wet fish at (that's about 130), plus movies. I damn near busted a nut putting it together.
Our first hurdle occurred 20 minutes into the journey when one of the cars broke down. The retarded and lucky fact being we hadn't even made it out of Santiago yet.
We had to wait almost two hours for the car company (jodido Alamo!) to bring out another in which time we had to deal with security guards and manic traffic (we broke down on the autopista).
The first night we stayed in this corker of a hostel (in a town I forget the name of). Bedroom looks respectable yes...
...but this was the upstairs lobby. Smashed windows (and it gets fucking cold at night let me tell you) and possibly the most viciously uncomfortable chairs I have ever come across.
But I was never worried because I knew JC and his crew had my back at all times to protect me from the onslaught of insects.
Breaky the following morning; cheese sandwich and instant coffee .
In Chile there is a little graffiti of course, but just about every unmarked fence has political candiadates names (and nothing else) for the upcoming election in December. It's weird but visually looks pretty cool.
Stopped at the beach for a quick snack and had a look around. There were lots of large birds hovering around. This is one of them, or Toni sitting on a rock, I can't tell from this distance.
And the birds were hovering around for these little fellas! Of which there were heaps. This little battle made it quite clear that I should fuck off immediately.
I assume you can view this bigger in another window (that's a right click retard).
Aina no!
Toni you fool!
Awwwww!
Txibia don't do it!
We found and old derelict desert sofa just begging to be sat on. This is Toni.
Yours truly maxing out the relaxmo pozzy.
Maria Long Hair.
Paul 'Nick, saca un foto' Hernández Quintano.
Aina.
Txibia. Pronounced with severe difficulty.
Diana.
Eva.
And finally Mama Jane.
Being the oldest traveller by a couple of years and therefore the most mature I was unimpressed by the car mooning shenanigans.
There is a seriously-massiveness-like hand that everyone, including us, stops at to take photos of.
Car park for the hand.
Another Chilean devil dog!
And here we are in the streets of San Pedro de Atacama. A small but beautiful town. Hot as shit in the day and cold as fuck in the night. Looking up and down the streets, however, you see nothing but gringos and shops specifically servicing gringos.
The hostel we stayed at here was beautiful and had a wicked hammock.
Awwwwww.
Tornado!
First full day in San Pedro we went to the salt lakes. Yes, they were stunning and yes, you float pretty high, but when it is hot as hell out side and the lakes are shallow I was expecting some form of non-shirt-tearingly-cold water. And afterwards the salt was everywhere.
In the arvo we went to a small town nearby (I remember this one: Tocanoa). Which was cool because it didn't need, nor cater for, tourists. Therefore it was dirty and gutsy as!
Mama Jane!
Oh my god! I fucking knew it! Maria Long Hair is a devil! Look at the eyes man!
The following day we got up hideously early (I'm talking maybe 04.00) to catch a bus up super high to the geyers because it is too dangerous to drive without professionals. Can't remember what altitude we were at, but high enough to notice the lack of oxygen required not to feel like shit. And even though the sun was out, it was minus eight degrees! That is seriously cold. I even had some more suitable clothes this time but there was nothing I could do except whimper to myself and wait it out.
Vicuñas? Fuck knows what they are doing this high, especially what they eat and drink.
Check out the retard German tourist wearing shorts.
Two men just hanging out next to some tough as pipes 'n shit.
If I had known what Toni was doing I wouldn't have hesitated to break those fucking fingers and shove 'em up his culo.
Lake with Flamingos. There are three types here; Chilean, Andean and James would you believe. Not sure which these are but I hope they are James.
Vicuñas. So cute you just want to crush or shoot them.
I was and still am a little confused. But I am pretty sure that is an emu?
Straight afterwards on to some little town (with eight residents) whose name also escapes me.
Eva illegally jumped the fence for this shot in front of the church (for eight residents) in what appears to be a shadow induced Matrix cape.
House/room in the making.
Foot and hoof just chilling on the ground like it is meant to be there. I bet the animal that forgot it is well pissed. Possibly an Ass by the look of it.
Oh now, that is crass.
That night we were on our way to some valley with hot springs to eat ham and cheese sandwhiches and see the stars properly. Toni always prefers to ride up back.
Whilst the hot spring looked nice, the memory of the last hot spring experience was too fresh in my mind. And besides, I didn't fancy sharing the same water as Toni and whatever he is doing. This night my brain hurt from Spanish overload, so I got quietly tanked on cheap wine solo style to ease the pain.
Doing my bit to maintain the vicious cycle of perpetual street dogs I gave scraps.
The next day, our final full day in San Pedro, we hired bikes for the morning for a three to four hour passage. On the way, and moments before I went over the handle bars, we found a dog trapped in a damn that couldn't get out for the plastic edges. Aina rescued him, then I recused Aina. That water would have been freezing so that dog is extremely lucky.
Then we abandoned it.
I'll have you know too, on the return bike ride, I tried to demonstrate to the others how you should cross a stream on bike: with maximum speed = arse over tit into the stream, camera, wallet, phone and all. The camera and phone survived, but I had to pay for everything for the rest of the trip with soggy pesos.
Maria Long Hair.
Toni and I scaled the highest point briefly as we were running out of time. Those coloured rocks are the others.
Just having a man squat on a rock.
Me and Toni and Toni's helmet.
For the afternoon four of us went horseriding. Being mine and my arse's first time, I was a little nervous. This is the tray top ride to the stable. Not to toot my own horn in public but the tour guides refused to believe I hadn't been horse riding before. I didn't really know what I was doing, so I just whipped the horse while my arse slowly disintegrated. I also, foolishly, wore shorts which resulted in unholy chapped thighs that are still with me weeks later.
The crew assembled. I requested a biker helmet or anything less gay than the one they gave me but there was no option.
We went all over these awesome sand dunes in the rocky desert like mountains.
Hello National Geographic.
We stopped for a rest next to some sandboarders. Sandboarding looks kinda fun and kinda lame at the same time. Too much walking up sandhills for a two second ride down if you ask me.
That's my black horse, cleverly named Negro, taking a mammoth leak.
Paul and Perro taking in some agua.
Aw aw awwwwww.
More dogs!
Final day on the way out, a bit of mobile phone lit cave action.
That almost looks like a tan man!
Three turd like rocks called The Three Mary's or something.
A failed attempt at the jump shot (with an very unenthusiastic Diana).
Me and some mascot dude that stands outside a drive-by highway church.
Some old old graveyard in the desert that obviously hasn't been used for a while. Each cross/tombstone had a plastic ticker tape stuff that made an impressive noise flapping in the wind.
We got stuck in some town for almost two hours because the teachers were protesting something. Have a geez...
And finally a couple of snaps for the Man Abroad lady fans. In serious MC Hammer Desert attire. Enjoy.
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