Operation Gringo Milking

As sinister as a home delivered Turd Sandwich, this hard hitting scenario is the basis of the entire Bolivian tourism industry:

Man Abroad (MAB)
Bolivia (BOL)

SCENE 1
MA: Hello Bolivia, I was wondering if there was a toilet near here?
BOL: Hello sir, yes certainly, just down there to the right, then a left then a right then a right-right
MA: Ok... thank you
BOL: No problem. That'll be 5 Bolivianos
MA: Pardon? To use the toilet?
BOL: No, for the information
MA: What? But I haven't even unzipped my pants yet? What are you talking about?
BOL: No sir, that's just the way it is
MA: Stuff it. Alright... here you go [you little fucker]

SCENE 2
MA: Hello, is this the entrance to the toilet?
BOL: Yes sir, this is the entrance to the entrance of the toilet
MA: Hang on a sec there buddy, I don't think I understood that. This IS the toilet right?
BOL: Yes, it's 5 Bolivianos to enter the area where the toilet is
MA: Ughhh. If I give you the money can I do a fucking piss or what?
BOL: I don't understand sir, 5 Bolivianos to enter
MA: Chuck Fucking Norris! You people are mental, here you fucking go [you smarmy little cubicle dwelling investment arse banker]
BOL: Thank you sir
MA: Whatever

SCENE 3
MA: Hi, I need to go to the toilet — do I go through here?
BOL: Yes sir, that's 5 Bolivianos
MA: But I just paid THAT dude in the box 5 Bolivianos to go to the toilet
BOL: Yes sir, that's to enter the Toilet Vicinity, but to use the toilet it's 5 Bolivianos
MA: Ok, ok, this is bullshit dude, you're just trying to Gringo Fist me cause I'm a foreigner, well guess what fella? I'm not an idiot and I'm not gonna pay it. Now get outta my way!
BOL: I am sorry sir but I can't let you enter without paying, Toilet Rules
MA: But I have already paid TWICE man! You want me to garden hose all over this wall? Don't think I won't fucking do it!
BOL: You need to pay 5 Bolivianos if you want to use the toilet sir or I can call security
MA: Security? Toilet Security? If he's as small as you I can take both of you and still knock one out, with ease
BOL: Sir, I don't understand. Pay please. Security is over there
MA: What, that dude there? In... fatigues... with a night stick and a fucking gun! Your Toilet Security is pretty serious man. I'm not getting shot in the chest for a Number 1's. HERE take my bloody cash
BOL: Thank you sir, have a nice day
MA: [Whatever cunt]

SCENE 4
MA: Sweet Baby Elvis! This toilet smells like summertime barnyard bovine arse, I can feel the rank assailing my my eyes like thousands of miniature, acidic, brown clad ninjas [just knock out the slash, don't touch anything and leave man]
BOL: Hello sir. Would you like some soap and a hand towel sir?
MA: WHA.. HUH? Where'd you come from? Ummmmm... if I use your soap, as there seems to be no other available, do I have to pay you anything?
BOL: 5 Bolivianos sir
MA: Are you fucking kidding me? I gotta pay for soap after paying three times to get in here just for a tinkle? I wish I had Stage 3 Tropical Dysentery so you guys could really earn that money
BOL: Sorry, I don't understand sir, 5 Bolivianos for soap
MA: Suck it old man — I got alcohol gel in my pocket! Moohahahahah. Oh... wait... maybe my back pocket... or ...maybe in my other fucking bag
BOL: Sorry sir, I still don't understand
MA: HERE TAKE IT. JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING SOAP. If this was Grand Theft Auto I would garrote you with that hand towel, put the soap in it and king hit those other fuckers into comas, take everyone's wallet, steal a car and go hooker the night away
BOL: Ya, ya, ya. Thank you sir. Have a good day
MA: Don't pretend like you understood that little man. Thanks for the Gringo Raping. Have a nice day working in this septic tank arsehole

Now just apply that little scenario to every conceivable touristic situation and you have Bolivia.

Thank Van Halen their currency is worth fuck all.